I might be looking at this all wrong.
It doesn't get more excellent than this |
Robert can be lying in the emergency room with, at times,
four people trying to find a vein and when asked how he is feeling his reply is
always the same: “I feel excellent.”
The doctor or nurse asking the question will glance at me
and I will explain, in a wringing-of-hands kind of way, that “Robert is a
terrible self-reporter.”
Robert has had a lot of dental work lately - new crowns put
in as well as a few fillings. When the dentist asks him how the new handiwork
feels so he can make any adjustments, Robert replies, “It feels excellent.”
Shaking my head, I explain that “Robert is a terrible
self-reporter.”
I feel for the dentist who has to guess if Robert’s new
crown is comfortable and for the doctor who is working to figure out Robert’s
source of infection and high fever. I struggle with how to decipher how Robert
is really feeling. Sure, he says he is excellent but what is he really feeling?
Well what if I am looking at this all wrong?
What if Robert really is feeling excellent?
Maybe he isn’t a terrible self-reporter at all but has an
incredible knack for feeling pretty excellent under just about every
circumstance.
Oh my gosh! What if Robert really does feel excellent?!
As crazy as this sounds, this idea never occurred to me
before. I dismiss his self-proclamation
of excellence in the face of “facts.”
Of course he doesn’t feel excellent – he has pneumonia (or
bronchitis or is on a new medication).
Of course his crown doesn’t feel excellent on the first try
– that’s impossible.
How could he feel so excellent? It just doesn’t make sense.
This realization, this possibility that Robert really does
feel excellent when he says he does, makes me see caring for him in a whole new
light. Robert is not easily
rattled. Sure, his medication makes him
cranky and irritable and the puppy gets on his nerves but he still will tell me
he feels excellent. Who is to say he doesn’t?
Why should I believe anything different?
Maybe if Robert really and truly feels excellent then I can
lighten up a little bit. Maybe I don’t
have to work myself into a frenzy to guarantee Robert’s happiness.
Maybe I can let go and trust that he’s got that
covered.
Maybe I can believe in the magic of excellent too.
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