“It’s Important I Shave Too”

This shaving business is getting out of control.

Robert had his upper GI Endoscopy today which meant, even though we had to leave the house at the same time he normally leaves, he couldn’t eat.  This bought us some extra time so I let him sleep in a bit.

Once he was up, he got his bath and got dressed.  I relented and helped him with his socks so we could make it to the appointment on time. I needed to get ready, too, so asked him to brush his teeth while I showered and got dressed.

“I need to shave too.”

Okay, sounds good.  We’ve got half an hour so you have time to brush your teeth and shave.  Just please brush your teeth first.

“It’s important I shave too.”

Oh goodness.  I don’t know why shaving became so important but it is Robert’s new favorite past-time. Before he moved in with us, shaving was more than an hour-long process.  He used a regular triple-edge disposable razor complete with shaving cream and aftershave. He’s a little on the OCD side so had a very meticulous process which took forever to complete.

When he first moved in to New Home, he showered and shaved in the morning.

That lasted, probably, two days. He kept missing the bus.

I finally convinced him (and New Home) to shower him in the morning (because he usually wakes up wet) and to shave at night.

That worked. Most of the time.

One of my first purchases when he moved in with us was an electric razor. No need for after shave. No more cuts (even though he always declared, “I didn’t cut myself shaving” no matter how many spots of red were on his face).

This purchase literally shaved an hour off of his bedtime routine. (Oh yes I did use that pun!)

I don’t know when it happened but all of a sudden he had to shave every time he went into the bathroom. I mean, Every Time.

Sometimes more than once in the same visit.

I would walk by the bathroom and see him looking in the mirror and feeling his face with one hand, razor in the other.

Apparently, he has started growing facial hair at the rate of Chewbacca.

If he feels any kind of stubble, he grabs the razor. (A friend suggested I get him a small razor he can carry with him. I’m afraid it will interfere with his quality of life if I do that. All other activities will cease.)

I have half an hour to get ready to get out the door. I’ve already packed his “just in case bag” and packed my bag with his medical information and a few work projects. I need to shower and dress – if I can do that in half an hour, he can brush his teeth and shave.

“It’s important I shave.”

Robert, I understand it’s important to shave.  However, it’s more important we make it to your appointment on time and I need to get in the shower. Please brush your teeth and shave AFTER you brush your teeth.

He stared at me.

Robert – I need you to tell me you’ll brush your teeth first and then shave.

More staring.

Robert!

“Okay.”

I ran upstairs to get ready in record time and came down to Robert still sitting in the bathroom. He looked done.

Are you ready to go?

“Yes.”

Did you have time to shave?

“Yes."

Great! Let’s get going. The bag with extra briefs and clothes is already in the car; my work/medical info bag is in the car too. I grab my purse; Richard corrals the dogs and helps us to the car.

We are on schedule! Woohoo!

You brushed your teeth and shaved, right, Robert?

“Um, yes, I did.”

It dawns on me that he did not brush his teeth.  I just knew it.

You didn’t brush your teeth, did you? 

Long pause.

“No.”

But you shaved?

“Yes, I did.”

Argh!

Thankfully, there’s a toothbrush and toothpaste in his “just in case bag” so he brushed his teeth at the hospital while we waited for him to be called back for his test.

I handed him his toothbrush and toothpaste and waited for him to finish. 

He looked in the mirror while brushing and I know what he was thinking:

“I really need to shave.”