Another Caregiving Hat

Hubby goes in tomorrow for surgery to replace his intrathecal pain pump.

It’s also my birthday (let the singing begin)!

Hubby has been in pain since I met him (although I try not to take it personally).  Mere weeks after hubby’s son was born, Hubby was traveling back to his baby from working out of town when he was rear-ended by a drunk driver (the person who hit him was driving on a suspended license and it was his 4^th DUI). 

Hubby dealt with major injuries and spine pain and was on a lot of pain meds.  He was on quite a bit of pain medication but, over time, went off it and did his best to control the pain with over the counter pain medications because he didn’t like the stronger stuff. 

We met during this over-the-counter drug phase, we married, his pain increased (I tried not to take this personally). 

Hubby saw a pain specialist (and a chiropractor and an acupuncturist and massage therapists and whoever else might have been able to help relieve the pain).  The pain specialist said he had Degenerative Disk Disease caused from the accident.  The doctor tried all kinds of treatments (nerve blocks, stronger medications, physical therapy to name a few). 

Nothing brought him relief.  Hubby was debilitated by the pain and he could no longer work.  He was declared disabled, we took a financial nose-dive, hubby’s view of himself took a major nose-dive, depression enveloped his entire being. 

We had three kids under the age of nine, it was early in our marriage, our finances were a mess and hubby was in severe and chronic pain.

It was ugly.

Hubby tried all kinds of medications to bring him some relief from the relentless pain.  Some medications incapacitated him so completely, he was unable to drive or function as a father or husband (sheesh, he could barely get out of bed).

I should also mention his mood was, well, on the cranky side.   The kids and I all had to not take this personally.

The situation was unbearable for everyone and we had to come up with another solution.

The intrathecal pain pump gave us hope.  The pump promised less pain (never promising to rid Hubby of it completely but promising his life back) and it gave us hope that the strong narcotics hubby was on could be discontinued (or, at least, greatly reduced). 

Fentanyl is delivered from the pump through a catheter into the area in the lower spine causing the pain.  Because the medication is delivered directly into the spinal column, there are fewer side effects from the medication and Hubby is able to actually function without a foggy brain and have reduced pain.  He still takes medication to help control the residual pain but it is nothing like those early days of our marriage (or right after his accident). 

The pump is not a cure-all.  He still has reactions to the oral medications which can cause all sorts of physical and behavioral problems (for instance, he was on Neurontin for quite some time until it turned Hubby into an angry, out of control stranger and I told the doctor he could either live with Hubby himself or change the medication).

Hubby no longer takes Neurontin.

Thankfully, we’ve had a great stretch without behavior issues or depression.  Hubby still has pain but he knows how far he can push himself and when he needs to rest.  I’ve learned to stop telling him what he shouldn’t be doing because it will cause him more pain.  The changes we’ve both made have helped make us happier people and have kept us married for close to 15 years.

The pump runs on batteries so needs to be replaced every few years.  This will be his 3^rd pump (well, 4^th if you count the time the doctor accidentally installed it upside down – oops!).  The device needs to be replaced as soon as possible because it is showing signs of not working and the battery going out (giving Hubby either increased pain or withdrawal symptom s or both).

We found out just before Christmas that a cancellation came up on the doctor’s schedule for tomorrow so surgery has been scheduled.  Hubby feels terrible that he is having surgery on my birthday but I think Hubby having pain relief for a few more years is a pretty terrific present (although – shhh, don’t tell Hubby – it definitely gives me “you owe me” ammunition to use in the future if I ever need it!).

For the surgery, I plan to wear my Mickey Mouse ears from my 50^th birthday celebration in Disneyland last year which, for me, is just the perfect caregiving hat.