Forever a Caregiver

Well, it took me ten years but I wrote a book! This is my first book and I could bore you with a gazillion disclaimers (just ask those closest to me), but instead I want to tell you about it and how I came to write it.

Mom was diagnosed with cancer in July twelve years ago and within two months had died. I think I remember every moment of that two month period of my life. I helped care for Mom during this time but it wasn’t the first time she leaned on me. She had debilitating depression when I was a teenager and I was her support then, too. There were a few times of also caring for Dad but, in my family, loyalty to both parents at the same time was not an option. As the oldest girl with two younger brothers, caring for Mom and Dad was up to me. (There are many men who are caregivers but, in my experience, if there is a girl in the family – the caregiving role goes to her.)

After Mom died, I felt the need to write about our experiences. I wanted people to know that families can be messed up and dysfunctional but it’s your family. Don't worry, this is not a book about forgiveness – there is no need for it. It’s a story about coming to appreciate my family crazy as it was (and by crazy, I mean periods of actual crazy) and also accepting my role in the family (as the caregiver).

For years, this book was bursting out of me and I wrote it the best I could. I changed the title several dozen times (I have pages of potential titles to prove it) but nothing seemed to fit.

Until I started caring for Robert.

Then it hit me – I was caregiving for Mom all those years although I didn’t even realize it at the time. I accept that as my role in the family. In fact, I have found profound fulfillment from that caregiving role so wouldn’t change a thing.

I am Forever a Caregiver.

This is my first book so forgive me if it’s not the greatest book you’ve ever read (did you think I wouldn’t slip in at least one disclaimer?). One of my favorite quotes (and I’m terrible about remembering who said it) but it is something like “I may not be able to write a book as well as Shakespeare, but I can write a book by me.”

I’d love for you to purchase my book, Forever a Caregiver (you can find it here or on the sidebar), and would love for you to tell me what you think. Have you had to forgive your family or do you accept them for who they are? Do you struggle with your family roles? I’d love to hear about your own family experiences.

Thank you so much for indulging me in this bit of shameless self-promotion.